


Bathtub Sexytimes

by SnazzyCookies



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Bathing/Washing, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-23
Updated: 2011-05-23
Packaged: 2017-10-29 20:39:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/323950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnazzyCookies/pseuds/SnazzyCookies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From <a href="http://homesmut.livejournal.com/6376.html?thread=7527656#t7527656">this prompt</a> on the kink meme.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bathtub Sexytimes

For the third time he came home to find her passed out in the tub, completely doped up on soap.

He snapped his fingers in front of her face. No response. He kissed her. Nothing. He turned the cold water on and splashed her face. Nope.

The first time this had happened, he'd freaked out, thinking she was dead. He couldn't feel a heartbeat. He couldn't see her breathing. But after he'd frantically texted Kanaya and she'd taken an emergency (and very expensive) flight to Texas from New York and taught him how to revive her, he was much calmer the second time.

The third time, he was just annoyed.

***

Terezi opened her nose to the fuzzy world and tried to focus. She had a pounding headache, yet she felt amazingly comfortable and refreshed. Her smell-o-vision tried to come into focus, but it couldn't. Peach mango lime invaded her every breath.

Then there was another smell. A very familiar, very pleasant smell. It made her heart pound.

"Dave," she said dreamily.

"Don't you 'Dave' me," he said. The words rang in her ears like music. She giggled uncontrollably. She asked him if they'd just come back from the party.

She felt the back of his fingers brush tenderly against her cheek. "English, Tez. I can't understand Alternian."

She giggled again and said something else.

"When you come around, I'm going to be pissed as hell, but right now there's no point," he said, and she scrunched her eyebrows together, trying to understand him.

"What?"

"You drank soap again, didn't you?"

She grinned.

"Peach mango lime flavor."

"It was kiwi-watermelon soap."

She giggled.

"Nope, peach mango lime. Here, taste."

She stuck her tongue out for him to taste. He rolled his eyes.

"Sleep this off and fucking enjoy your high because this isn't happening again."

She didn't really understand what he was saying, but she cooed at his sexy voice and rolled over and buried her nose in the relaxing slime. 

***

The next night, Terezi woke up and stumbled out of her recouperacoon, dripping in slime. She went straight into the tub and turned it on, sighing as she felt the water flow over her feet as it started to fill. She had grown to like human baths, very much, and for more than one reason! She cackled and reached for the soap. 

She didn't find it, so she moved her hand over further...then further. The entire rack in the back corner was...empty. Frowning, she searched the corners of the tub, then even the floor. Not a bottle or bar anywhere. All she'd found was a washcloth. That was it.

"Dave!" she shouted, and she stumbled out of the tub and went to the sink. The handsoap pump was gone. She opened the medicine cabinet, she searched the closet. No soap, not anywhere.

"What?" he said, suddenly in the doorway. She hadn't heard him coming over the noise of the shower.

"Where's the soap?" 

She could smell the satisfaction wafting off of him, even though she knew his face gave no expression. 

"No more unsupervised soap time for you," he said simply, with perhaps a bit of a smirk on his lips, but by the time she reached up her fingers to touch his face, it was gone.

"I'm sorry! I didn't worry you too much, did I?"

She cackled. He took her hand in his.

"Get in the tub," he said.

She pouted.

She smelled him roll his eyes.

"Okay. Jerkface," she said, though he did not let go of her hand as she walked across the small bathroom.

She stepped into the hot water and he held onto her as she slowly sank down, and she was glad he did as she was still a little dizzy. Her head was still throbbing a little and she sighed with relief as she sank into the steamy water. It was only about a foot deep but she still sank up to her chin, causing her knees to poke out of the water. 

He reached over and shut it off. She heard a snap, and immediately smelled something delicious like strawberry jam and oranges...

She perked up as she heard the sound of body wash being squirted out of a bottle. She sat up straight and groped for it. He yanked it away. She tried to stand. There was a hand on her shoulder, holding her down.

"No. Bad Terezi. Down, girl." he said.

She whined like a dog in response, just to play with him.

"From now on," he said, "If you want a bath,  _I'm_  giving it to you."

She pouted.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll make you change your mind," he said, and then she felt his other hand on her back. He slid his palm over her shoulder blades and she felt the slick sensation of soap glide between their skin.

Oh, oh  _oh_. He wasn't going to use a washcloth, was he?

His other palm was rubbing over her shoulder now, and then he was surrounding her upper arm in his grasp...

"Mmmmm..." she said, as she felt her matesprit's touch cover every inch of her arm, then the back of her hand, then her fingers. He moved slowly, sliding his digits deliberately between each one, rubbing the pads of her fingers, her palm, her wrist.

She was very quickly forgetting all about soap.

He slid his palms back up her arm, then gently lifted it with one hand while he washed under her arm and down her side with the other. This tickled, and she giggled, but it was a soft giggle now, not the harsh cackle she usually gave.

 _This_  giggle was her flirty giggle; it was a sound she only performed for her matesprit, a thing reserved exclusively for him. She smelled his smile.

His hands slid over her shoulder and across her back. He rubbed her from her neck down to the water line, then back up to the other shoulder. He had to lean across her to get to her far arm, and that was when his shoulder gently bumped against her and she realized he was not wearing a shirt.

Her hands immediately flew out of the water and were caressing his skin, down to his hips to see...oh, oh, he was completely naked. 

"Mmmm..." she said, and she leaned into him, planting kisses on his side, making his skin twitch.

He put a soapy finger on her forehead and shoved her away, smiling.

"You're not going to distract me that easily."

She gave him a wicked grin, and raised both of her hands up, aiming for between his legs...

He had her wrists in his hands before she got anywhere.

"Do not think, for one second, that a blind, hungover troll can outwit Dave Strider."

She pouted. He kissed her forehead, and then began rubbing soap all over her un-soaped arm, and she sighed pleasantly and leaned her back against the tub.

Dave finished with her arm now, and slid his hands over her chest. Again he rubbed her grey flesh, covering every square inch down to the water line. She savored the sensation of his hands sliding over all of her skin, then followed by the washcloth as he rinsed all of the soap off of her. She became lost in the haze of Dave touching her, Dave's scent drowning out the weak store-bought soap, Dave's breath catching in her ear.

When he finished cleaning her down to her waist...

His hands dipped below the water, sliding over her thighs, and she moaned as he traced his palms down her leg all the way to her foot. He lifted her leg up and rested the heel on the corner of the tub and began to wash her foot, soap everywhere, his fingers everywhere, between her toes, on the sole of her foot, over her heel...

up to her shin, up to her knee, his hands sliding, his palms coating her with deliciousness, up to her thigh...

She grunted with complaint as he pulled away.

"What?" he asked, with a mocking, faked innocent tone, as he began to do the same with her other leg. His hands moved tortuously slowly, teasing her, baiting her, making her hotter with every moment. 

Then he stopped and rubbed her legs with the washcloth, removing the soap...

"Now how do I get at the rest of you...?" he teased. Terezi gave him her patented, wide grin and turned so that her hands were on the floor of the tub. She bent her knees and rose out of the water, until she was on all fours, exposing all of the rest of herself for him to wash...

"Huh," he said, sliding a soapy hand up the back of her thigh and across her ass cheek, making her sigh with pleasure, "Who knew I had such a dirty, easy troll for a wife?"

She cackled, even as her heart raced as he used the human term for matesprit- a thing he rarely did. She must really have scared him, she realized, for him to get this affectionate. Her eyebrows scrunched together with guilt, and she was about to apologize...

"Mmmm...oh....ghuuuuh..."

His hands slid up between her as cheeks, tenderly fondling her seed flap, paying far too much attention to it, as he slickness of the soap gave her a new sensation she'd never quite felt before. Then his fingers found their way up towards her nook, teasingly brushing against it, and then they were gone.

"No..." she said softly, and then the washcloth was on her, wiping away the soap as he rubbed her ass, then her seed flap, then the outside of her nook. Then that was gone, as well.

She was flushed teal now, hot and panting. His fingers returned, this time without soap, just perfectly clean and substance-free. He slid his hand through her legs from behind, teasing her, stroking the folds on the outside of her nook, making them flush teal with blood, making her shudder.

"You're never taking a bath without me, ever again," he said. "You've made it very clear you need supervision like a daycare for three-year-olds full of marbles and swallowable toy parts. I can only take so much of coming home to find you passed out and drooling down the side of your face like Equius on a horse farm."

Terezi wanted to cackle, or perhaps defend herself, but all she could do was moan at the sensations he was causing between her legs...

"I'm not putting up with your soap habit anymore," he said, and she felt him rise. She heard the water splash as he stepped into it, behind her. "They say the best way to break a bad habit is to replace it with something better."

She heard the soft click of plastic being set down on the countertop, and a few seconds later, a brilliant cherry-red aroma wafted into her nose, drowning out all other smells, making the soap pale in comparison. Dave had taken his shades off.

"So," he said, placing his left palm on her ass cheek, and with his right hand, she knew he was stroking his human bulge, making it red and flushed the way she liked it...

"I'm going to give you something so much better than soap you'll laugh at it with mocking sarcasm the next time you see it. You won't believe you ever wanted it; it'll amaze you that there was a time you craved that disgusting, overrated factory chemical with food dye and artificial flavors, when you could have had me instead."

She moaned and shuddered and lowered her head, her hair falling into the water and she didn't care. She was shaking with want and heat, and she stuck her ass up farther, opening the folds of her nook for him, ready, wanting...

"You've got a soap problem, Terezi Strider, but not for long because this is my intervention."

She felt the tip of his human-bulge push against her nook, and then he slid into her as she heard her own genetic material start to drip into the water. She moaned as he pushed fully into her, and she pushed back, bringing her ass flush against his pelvis.

Dave then placed both of his palms on her ass cheeks, pulled nearly all the way out, and thrust. Hard.

"Mmmm!!!" she said, her useless eyes flying wide open, and then he was gone, and then he was back again, just as hard. Dave started to work up a rhythm, pushing hard and deep into her every time, the sound of the water splashing to the beat. Sex with Dave was always like that; beyond delicious and nearly musical; he had a way of drawing her in, surrounding her senses with him, making her focus only on that amazing  _pleasure_  inside of her.

Terezi gasped with heavy breaths, as Dave reached down between her legs and stroked her nook-folds one more time. It was too much. She groaned and pulsed with pleasure, exploding with genetic material. Then somehow he had a bucket ready which he shoved between her legs, catching a lot of it though there was still plenty of a mess. Before she was even finished she heard him set it down quickly on the floor and then his thrusting was back, even more fervent and powerful and desperate.

"Uh...uhhhh...." he said, his chest collapsing onto her back as he wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her close to him as he pulsed deep inside her. She felt the tiny trickle that was his genetic material add a pittance to the mess, and then he was kissing her neck and nuzzling into her. She cooed.

"I think you might have to re-wash certain parts of me," she teased. He stood up and pulled out of her, more mess splashing into the water.

"Hey, I'm a mess, too, and there has not been nearly enough Dave-loving going on here."

She cackled and stumbled a bit as she rose to her feet. She reached out to grab something for balance, and his hands were there. She felt so flushed red it was ridiculous.

In one quick motion, he turned her around, unplugged the drain, and turned the shower on.

"Water was pretty gross and useless," he said.

"Well that wasn't  _my_  fault. Maybe next time you want to wash somebody, you should make them cleaner, not messier."

"I don't hear you complaining," he said, and he kissed her sweetly, then sexily. The moment his tongue filled her mouth with bubblegum sweetness she melted into his arms like a day-old wiggler.

"So," he said, his hair matted from the water now, "You understand the conditions of our arrangement?"

She grinned.

"If I don't eat soap anymore, then I get to have delicious, bathtime Davesex."

He nodded, as if she'd red him a list of ingredients for lasagna.

"And do you agree, Mrs. Strider, to this legal arrangement?"

She shuddered.

"Oooh, Dave, you play dirty, you know how much legal things turn me on..."

"Quit flirting with the judge. Just say whether you agree to the terms and conditions."

She was flushed teal again, even as the water soaked her hair and flowed down her back.

"Yes, yes, I agree. I promise never to eat nor drink nor partake in any form of soap without Dave's presence, ever again."

"Perfect," he said. "Now grab some and get this troll slime off of me." 

Terezi grabbed the bottle and she barely even noticed the fruity flavor as she squirted it onto her palm, because she was now far, far more interested in something else. Something much more appetizing and delicious and red. 

It really was easy for her to keep her promise, after that. She never drank soap again.

 


End file.
